Don't Meet the Browns

Brooklyn Jen and I (she of Step Up 2 the Streets fame) enjoy urban flicks; in fact, I wrote my undergraduate thesis on the depiction of African-Americans in cinemas from Spike Lee to the then-present (spring 1997). We'd never seen a Tyler Perry flick before, but the trailers for Meet the Browns made us curious. What would it be like?

We've been baptized. Oh, Lord.

(Meanwhile, because of Janet Jackson, my 16-year-old Little Sister wants to see Why Did I Get Married? I wonder if I can pawn that experience off on someone else.)

10 things that bothered me during Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns:

1) Angela Bassett’s character, Brenda, frequently is called a young single mother. It’s implied she had her first child no later than her early 20s. Given that Michael is 17, that would make Brenda, at most, 40 - not a “young single mother.” Furthermore, Bassett will be 50 in August.

2) Brenda has three children by three different fathers, but she seems to worry about child support only for Michael. It doesn’t appear that she’s getting money from Tasha’s and Lena’s fathers, so why aren’t they mentioned?

3) Early in Meet the Browns, the power company turns off Brenda’s electricity. Later, she has it back. I don’t recall her getting a job in the meantime. I know the Georgia relatives gave her money, but did it cover months of utilities?

4) How is it Brenda doesn’t tell Michael she’s lost her job until after his late-afternoon weekday basketball game - when she would have been at work? She had the want ads open earlier in the movie, the family ran out of food, and the electricity was cut off. Michael is pretty astute, but he somehow didn’t put two and two together?

5) I know directing isn’t Perry’s forte, but it seemed that he had just two stock images to signal we were in Chicago: the Sears Tower and the El (usually going over some projects). I would’ve liked to see more elegant transitions, as well as more scenes of the city.

6) Although I’d not seen a Perry film before, I’d read enough to understand that broad comedy and melodrama are hallmarks of his plays and movies. However, Jenifer Lewis as Vera evoked Maya Rudolph’s impression of Whitney Houston on Saturday Night Live. When Lewis hollered her first “Hell to the no!,” it was the first time I laughed during the movie, almost an hour in. Of course, by now I really was missing Rudolph’s Whitney. Where was Bobby Brown?

7) Along a similar vein, David Mann’s Leroy Brown made me think of the barbers Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall played under lots of makeup in Coming to America - except they weren’t on screen as often, and they made me laugh more.

8) Perry’s most famous creation is the pistol-packing granny Madea, whom he plays in drag. Madea appears for two awkwardly shoe-horned moments that amount to about 90 seconds of screen time - yet Perry gives himself top billing in the closing credits. What? Also, for those who don’t know Madea or Perry’s work, the scenes are really confusing. In fact, it’s a setup for Perry’s next film, Madea Goes to Jail. I know that only because I did some research afterward.

9) Brenda’s best friend, Cheryl (Sofia Vergara), fulfills every Hispanic caricature imaginable: screechy voiced, ill-attired (think loud prints, plunging necklines, nameplate necklaces, cheap polyester), pot smoking.

10) The Regal Cinemas in New York don’t offer discounts, so I had to pay $11.75 for this.